By Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements is a spiritual guide based on ancient Toltec wisdom, offering simple yet powerful principles for personal freedom and inner peace. Don Miguel Ruiz outlines just four agreements we can make with ourselves to transform our lives.

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
This means speaking with honesty, integrity, and kindness. Words have power—they can heal or hurt. For example, telling your child “You’re so creative” uplifts, while saying “You’re always messy” can become a harmful belief. Being impeccable means avoiding gossip and self-criticism too.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. Read that again and take it in. It’s a reflection of their own reality, just like it is for you. If someone snaps at you, it likely stems from their stress or pain. You can imagine the same if you are stressed and snap at your child. By not taking things personally, you protect your peace. For instance, if a coworker ignores you, assume it’s about their mood, not your worth. Most people are thinking about themselves not you, to be honest.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
We often fill in the blanks with our own stories. We really have no idea of what others are thinking, and assuming puts us at risk for a miscommunication. Instead, ask questions and communicate clearly. If your partner is quiet, rather than assuming they’re upset, simply ask, “What is on your mind?”, with curiosity. This reduces misunderstandings and builds stronger connections.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best will vary each day—what matters is your intention and effort. Whether you’re parenting on little sleep or showing up to work with a heavy heart, doing your best keeps you free from regret and self-judgment. You are the one who can always gauge if you are doing your best.

Together, these agreements offer a loving framework for living with more clarity, freedom, and joy. I love this wisdom. Has it affected how you show up in life, too?